I just read a r/dialysis post on Reddit. The poster thinks he needs to start dialysis within 12 months and is considering suicide instead of dialysis. It’s a bit melodramatic but I can kinda understand how he’s feeling. In the ~3 years I’ve been on dialysis, there have been times when I thought about giving up. Usually it’s when we hit a snag on the latest transplant plans. It was very disappointing when UCLA told my sister to wait two years before being re-evaluated as a donor. When you have to go to the clinic three times a week, two years is a long time.
However, humans are very adaptable. Dialysis just becomes something else in your daily routine. Sure it sucks, but you keep going because it’s a small price to pay to stay alive. Even when I was on peritoneal dialysis, it was close to taking up 11 hours a day. That’s almost half of my life just trying to stay alive. I still did it for six months until my abdominal membrane failed me.
I guess it depends on what else you have going in your life. The Reddit poster said he can’t face telling people that he’s responsible for his kidney failure due to uncontrolled diabetes. I think this is basically what happened to me too. However, the problem is not with other people; you need to come to terms with your past decisions and forgive yourself. Sure there are lots of regrets but you need to decide how to move forward.
I was going to post a reply since the message was pretty new when I read it. When I got to my computer, there were already 44 replies. Most of what I had in mind was said by someone else so I didn’t write anything. As I posted before, the hope of a transplant is the main reason I keep this up. If this COVID-19 pandemic lasts for months or years and transplants are delayed indefinitely, I don’t know what I’ll do.
Life with chronic diseases 