Pre-Retirement

I went into the office today as I typically do on Tuesdays and Thursdays. We had one person quit this afternoon and everyone clapped as he walked out. It is a strange tradition, especially since this employee only worked about a year and was in a clerical position. I said to my boss that I do not want any happy hours, parties, or cake. I just want to walk out and be done. Since I have been at the same company for twelve and a half years, I do not think I can escape that easily.

My cell group at church knows that I have been talking about retiring for years, but the reality hit me today. A few coworkers joked that I could quit now since we received our latest vested stock yesterday. I made the same comment several times too, but it still felt like a normal workday. I will be there for at least another two months so it will become more soon.

I am feeling a lot of anxiety though. Most nights I am home alone trying to pass the time until the next day. This will be much worse if I do not have a job, and regular interaction with coworkers. When my parents retired and spent most of their time at home, my thought was “they are just waiting to die.” I am trying hard to come up with things to do post-retirement, but it is hard not to picture myself in the “waiting to die” mode.