Unmotivated

I have an LED light strip that I intended to put up as Christmas lights in front of my house. It has sat in its box for close to two months. Finally, one week before Christmas, I got it out of the box and fully planned to put it up above my garage. I pulled out the step ladder, measured the installation location, and promptly gave up. My neighbor even came across the street to see if I needed help. I told him no and that I would try again earlier next year. However, I do need help getting out of this depressive slump.

I spent about six hours with a church friend yesterday. Initially, we were meeting for lunch, and to have him explain the bond market to me. We did do some of that, but I spent most of time talking about my work friend issue. It took a lot of embarrassing sharing, but I think I received some clarity on why I have been depressed. It is too complicated to discuss on a blog post but basically I have lost a close personal friend instead of just a work friend, which will take much longer to process and recover from. From the friend’s perspective, I am now definitely a mid to low level relationship. This discrepancy and how it affects communications is going to cause me a lot of grief and heartache until I can adjust my expectations quickly and deal with the loss.

Understanding a problem does not make it suck less.