I am currently using the Abbott Libre 3 continuous glucose monitor (CGM). In addition to falling off my arm easily and wasting a sensor, it is also wildly inaccurate. I have been checking the last two sensors with a finger prick glucose meter, and the readings can be off by more than 50 points high or low. That makes a huge difference when you are shooting fast-acting insulin on a sliding scale.
Additionally, I have received several low glucose alarms on my phone from the connected CGM. The alarm is loud and is designed to wake up so you can take action to prevent hypoglycemia. However, this one is fake. I checked with the regular glucose monitor and it read 114 mg/dL, well within the normal range. If you check the app again, the low reading is gone from the chart. How am I supposed to trust any readings from the CGM sensor? Am I risking shooting too much insulin before each meal? Or not enough?
Here are some photos of my burned out 240V NEMA 14-50 plug.
I am hoping that the circuit and breaker are still good, and I can just get someone to replace the plug. I will need to buy a new mobile charger from Tesla since I am uncertain if the old 0ne is still good.
I looked on Yelp! and got some quotes. One guy wanted to replace the socket with “industrial grade” parts for $325. Another guy said $135 plus parts. The third guy just said call him. The last guy thought I wanted to put in a new plug and asked me to send photos of where it should go. I have not decided who to call back yet.
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Updated: Tuesday, June 11th, 2024 @11:32 AM
I ended up replying to EV Pros since they had the greatest number of reviews. They probably are not the most inexpensive, but I wanted the repair done well. The service call was $275, and a new industrial socket was $120. The electrical panel was fine, even though the 50A circuit breakers were seven years old. He also said the connecting wire was too thin at 8-gauge, so he replaced it with 6-gauge wires. The total repair bill was $415, which is not cheap, but I feel it was reasonable.
I also ordered a new Tesla mobile charger, which was $250 new. Hopefully that will arrive soon so I can charge at home again.
Not much has changed since the last update. My surgeon moved my appointment out to this coming Wednesday due to a schedule conflict. I have been using the bone stimulation machine daily but there is no way to tell if it is effective or even working at all. I have been sleeping both upstairs and downstairs depending on how I feel. I did have some visitors, including friends from my current church and old church.
Healthwise, I got blood tests done for my nephrologist and orthopedic surgeon. This coming week I have three doctor appointments and it was a bit of a challenge to arrange rides. I can drive, but I am concerned about limited disabled parking at the doctor’s offices, and charging since my home charger blew up. I am still experiencing all the panic attack anxiety symptoms and had the worst cold flash ever yesterday. The cast is now very loose, but still putting a lot of pressure on my upper ankle. The neuropathy seems worse than ever, adding to my discomfort.
Adding to all this is a growing feeling of jealousy towards people that can walk. From friends and family that visit, to people I see while out eating. The thought that I cannot get out of my mind is, “Why me?” I am not a bad person so why am I always suffering? Why do other people get to live normal lives while I cannot walk and have this possible catastrophic problem in the future? This of course triggers my anxiety, so all my symptoms get worse. I experienced the same thing after my divorce, after heart surgery, and during dialysis. I know it is a useless line of thought, but I cannot seem to stop it. I know this will get even worse during the summer as people go on vacation, so I am looking for a counseling coach or therapist through Lyra Health. They offer some mental health resources through my work’s heal insurance.
When I bought my Model S, I put in a 240V/50A plug so I can charge faster. The mobile charge that came with my Tesla has been plugged in for seven years without any issues. Last week, I noticed a strange smell, like burning plastic when my Model X was charging. When I searched the internet, there were posts about a failing 12V battery emitting hydrogen sulfide gas. However, my Model X has a lithium-ion 12V battery so that should not happen. Anyway, last night we discovered that the smell came from the NEMA 14-50 plug. It looks like one of the prongs on the charger melted the socket. Strangely, the car was still charging at 40A, which is kind of scary. I stopped charging and unplugged the charger from the socket. Not sure why the 50A breaker did not pop on the electrical panel.
So, in addition to all my health issues and other problems, I have to get someone to come out and look at my charging circuit. I hope the actual wires and circuit are okay, and I just need a new plug. Likely I will need a new charge if the circuit is working as something caused the plug/socket to overheat and melt.
A couple of friends came to my house yesterday to pray for me. They were here to pray for healing, but the discussion was much broader. I always known that my faith is not that strong. I believe in miraculous healing but was never sure if that would happen to me. This is likely contributing to my anxiety and panic attack since I am focused on a future worst-case scenario, instead of praying for healing. One of the orthopedic surgeons is a member of my church and we were in the same cell group for about a year. When he spoke with me, he said he would pary for me too. I wonder what he prays about, knowing all the details of my case?
During prayer, one of them read this Psalm and it was very comforting.
Praise for the Lord’s Mercies.
A Psalm of David.
1 Bless the Lord, O my soul, And all that is within me, bless His holy name. 2 Bless the Lord, O my soul, And forget none of His benefits; 3 Who pardons all your iniquities, Who heals all your diseases; 4 Who redeems your life from the pit, Who crowns you with lovingkindness and compassion; 5 Who satisfies your [a]years with good things, So that your youth is renewed like the eagle.
6 The Lord performs [b]righteous deeds And judgments for all who are oppressed. 7 He made known His ways to Moses, His acts to the sons of Israel. 8 The Lord is compassionate and gracious, Slow to anger and abounding in lovingkindness. 9 He will not always strive with us, Nor will He keep His anger forever. 10 He has not dealt with us according to our sins, Nor rewarded us according to our iniquities. 11 For as high as the heavens are above the earth, So great is His lovingkindness toward those who [c]fear Him. 12 As far as the east is from the west, So far has He removed our transgressions from us. 13 Just as a father has compassion on his children, So the Lord has compassion on those who [d]fear Him. 14 For He Himself knows [e]our frame; He is mindful that we are but dust.
15 As for man, his days are like grass; As a flower of the field, so he flourishes. 16 When the wind has passed over it, it is no more, And its place acknowledges it no longer. 17 But the lovingkindness of the Lord is from everlasting to everlasting on those who [f]fear Him, And His [g]righteousness to children’s children, 18 To those who keep His covenant And remember His precepts to do them.
19 The Lord has established His throne in the heavens, And His [h]sovereignty rules over [i]all. 20 Bless the Lord, you His angels, Mighty in strength, who perform His word, Obeying the voice of His word! 21 Bless the Lord, all you His hosts, You who serve Him, doing His will. 22 Bless the Lord, all you works of His, In all places of His dominion; Bless the Lord, O my soul!
They also shared a song with me that I just heard a few months ago and was trying to learn how to sing an play on guitar.
I love You, Lord Oh, your mercy never failed me All my days, I’ve been held in your hands From the moment that i wake up Until i lay my head Oh, i will sing of the goodness of God
And all my life you have been faithful And all my life you have been so, so good With every breath that i am able Oh, i will sing of the goodness of God
I love your voice You have led me through the fire And in darkest night you are close like no other I’ve known you as a Father I’ve known you as a Friend And i have lived in the goodness of God, yeah
And all my life you have been faithful, oh-oh-oh And all my life you have been so, so good With every breath that i am able Oh, i will sing of the goodness of God, yeah
‘Cause your goodness is running after, it’s running after me Your goodness is running after, it’s running after me With my life laid down, i’m surrendered now I give you everything ‘Cause your goodness is running after, it’s running after me, oh-oh ‘Cause your goodness is running after, it’s running after me Your goodness is running after, it’s running after me With my life laid down, i’m surrendered now I give you everything ‘Cause your goodness is running after, it keeps running after me
And all my life you have been faithful And all my life you have been so, so good With every breath that i am able Oh, i’m gonna sing of the goodness of God I’m gonna sing, i’m gonna sing
‘Cause all my life you have been faithful And all my life you have been so, so good With every breath that i am able Oh, i’m gonna sing of the goodness of God Oh, i’m gonna sing of the goodness of God
I felt a lot more warmth today. I am not sure if it is real or just another symptom of neuropathy. My next appointment with the orthopedic surgeon is on Wednesday. I wonder if he can tell if the bone stim thingy is working or not after a week.
I used the bone stimulation machine last night before dinner, and I did not feel anything this time. After the 30-minute session, my friend who was visiting said that she felt the cast was a bit warmer around the inside ankle. Again, I really hope it is helping my ankle and heel fractures heal faster, and that I am not wasting 30 minutes each day.
Crap. After being lucky for months with a cast on, I finally got a pretty bad itch in/on my right foot. I have been using a long metal chopstick to reach into my cast, mainly to provide a cooling sensation, but also to reach itchy spots. The location feels like it is on the top of the foot, near where it joins to the ankle.
Even though the cast is fairly tight around the foot, as compared to being loose around the calf, I felt like I was able to reach the location with my chopstick from several directions. The front of the cast is open, so my toes are exposed. However, due to neuropathy, I do not feel any effect of the chopstick on my itchy spot. It sucks because it started itching after I fell asleep this morning, and now it is 5:30 am, I cannot fall asleep again.
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Ugh. The itch is making my panic attack symptoms worse. I woke up sweating under the comforter, but I feel really cold on my back and face.
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It is also more difficult to breathe too. I hate this.
It is good to have friends. I was worried about the time gap between having my health insurance terminated and when COBRA kicks in and communicated that to the benefits director at my old company. She was able to send me a PDF of the actual COBRA enrollment form, then ask for emergency processing once I enrolled and paid. She gave me a call yesterday telling me that the online pharmacy already has my COBRA information, and Blue Shield should have the same by Thursday.
I went online yesterday to the online pharmacy and was able to see all my information again. The benefits director mentioned that I was added via an emergency authorization, but next week’s update may overwrite the list until my name is added with the regular process. I quickly refilled all my medications in case this happens, and the copayment came out to $270.
I am glad this is taken care of since it resolves one of many issues I am dealing with post-retirement. It has not helped reduce my anxiety symptoms though.
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My friend that works at a pharmacy brought over a 100-pill bottle of prednisone. She said it only cost them $5 to purchase wholesale. My 90-day supply of the same 5 mg pill cost me about $8 of copay. That does not make any sense unless the markups are huge, which is likely. She told me not to refill it but it felt better to build a slight surplus in case something happens to my COBRA account unexpectedly.
Unfortunately, I was unable to refill my Norco or Oxycodone prescriptions. Those are one-time fill only.
I was stuck downstairs so I did not post about getting the bone stimulation machine. Someone from the company delivered the unit at around 11:00 am, at the same time my cousin and his wife showed up to take me to lunch. The unit looks like this:
It is very simple to operate. Basically, you hold down the one large button and it runs for 30 minutes. Afterwards, the unit shuts down, ready for another day. It is portable and powered by a 9-volt battery. The manual has a lot of warnings about not operating electronic nearby, and the possibility of electromagnetic interference (EMI) while the unit is on. I was unable to find out how much power and the frequency of the EM generated.
I waited until around 8:00 pm before using the machine because a friend wanted to come over and see it in action. However, the only indication that it is running is a 30-minute countdown timer. I was told to use it lying down so both my ankle and heel are between the two panels. I thought I felt a bit of warmth while the unit was on but could not really tell due to the cast and neuropathy.
Overall, I am happy the unit was delivered quickly, and I was able to start using it. I am still not 100% convinced on whether it will work but if gently warming my leg with microwaves will increase blood flow, it may help a bit. I am also hoping my surgeons have experienced some prior success with the device since they recommended the therapy. I just feel I need to try anything and everything to prevent the worst-case scenario.
It is only day two and I already cheated. Since I have a scheduled Ukraine call this morning, I decided to climb upstairs last night and sleep in my bedroom. I left a pillow and the queen size comforter, so I was able to sleep normally. The larger and firmer bed felt much better than sleeping on the small soft mattress. It is about 6:00 am and I will likely go back to sleep for a few hours before my call.
For better reference, this is the view from the second floor. I tried to minimize the items I brought downstairs. If I have to have the cast on for a long time, I will likely buy a firmer twin mattress, and start moving more stuff downstairs, including my computer and monitor.
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Panic attack symptoms seem to change often. Right now, I do not have any cold or hot flashes, but I am having a lot more difficulty breathing.
I finally decided to set up a bed downstairs. I slipped on the staircase going down a few days ago but managed to land on my left heel instead of my right. I am still freaked out thinking about what would happen if I landed on my right foot. So, yesterday, with the help of my nieces, my parents set up an old twin bed in the living room. Since they took a bunch of furniture when they moved out, there is a lot of room. The main issue is the twin mattress is a foam mattress from IKEA and it is really soft.
After setting up the bed yesterday, I slept in the living room last night. The lighting situation is not ideal since most of the light comes from the dining room chandelier. I also have a lot of bedroom lights controlled by Alexa, but not so much in the living room. I went to sleep around 1:00 am and slept until 6:30 am without waking up. That is better than most nights in my firm queen bed upstairs.
However, the mattress was too soft. My back was definitely more sore than previous days. I also woke up hot and sweaty. The comforter is very thin, and the thermostat said 71°F so I do not know why I felt so warm. I need to figure out how to adjust the thermostat and fan to make sleeping more comfortable.
As for convenience, I brought down a bunch of stuff from my bedroom, mostly medication and personal hygiene items. I did not bring down any electronics so I may need to climb back up for my Ukraine call in 20 minutes. I guess the jury is still out on whether I sleep here going forward, or go back to using the upstairs bedroom.
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It is 20 minutes later, and I am upstairs in front of my MacBook. I did not receive any info from my Ukranian friend, so I guess they are still having power issues. Our meeting yesterday was cancelled because he had no power in Kyiv, likely due to Russian assholes attacking again.
My next appointment is not until 11:00 am so I am going back to my bedroom to take a nap.
I should have read the email sent by my previous company’s benefits director. I thought she had sent me a sample letter, but she actually sent me a copy of what I would receive in the mail. The letter included the sign-up website and a registration ID. Luckily, she called me directly and went over some things with me today.
The process is confusing. I needed to sign up with a company called WEX Health. From the website, they appear to be another third-party benefits administration company. I think the trend has been to outsource a lot of administrative functions, especially in human resources, in order to save on employee costs. Anyway, I signed up, chose my insurance elections, and set up a recurring ACH to pay for the premiums. Here is what everything cost:
Blue Shield PPO: $568.34/month
Delta Dental PPO: $40.00/month
Lyra Health Coaching: $1.15/month
VSP Vision: $6.24/month
Total is about $616 per month which is extremely cheap for good health insurance. The benefits director suggested I get the Lyra Health Coaching since it was only $1.15/month, but I do not even know what it is for. She also said she would go chase down WEX and downstream providers to get my COBRA paperwork processed as soon as possible so I will not have issues with my medical appointments next week.
I have only nine contacts on Apple’s Find My Friends app. Usually everyone is at home inside a fifty mile radius. Occasionally, one or two people would be traveling, but currently a majority (5/9) are out of state.
The contacts comprise of six family members and three friends. Right now, two family members are in North Carolina while another is in Florida. I also have a friend visiting Washington state and another is in China. It is pretty amazing I can see everyone’s location in real-time.
I have been struggling physically and mentally for the past two weeks. I do not remember ever being this stressed out, even after the previous ankle surgery, or during the darkest moments of dialysis. I am being overwhelmed by the constant pressure from the ankle cast and possible catastrophic results if my heel bone fracture does not heal.
What I am also struggling with is what to do with all the regret I have. Even though I know it is terrible for my mental health to dwell on the past, I cannot control my thoughts at all. So many “what if” questions that have no answers. What if I did not attend the holiday work party? What if my friend did not go back to the roller skating area after skipping it previously? What if I was not trying to impress my coworkers? What if I just took off the skates after the first fall and not tried to skate back to the bench? What if I went to get an x-ray after rolling my ankle? What if I questioned why we did not follow the 50% weight restriction with the physical therapist?What if?
Then there are the “why” questions, especially as a Christian who believes God is sovereign? I am not trying to shift blame for my stupidity as I am the one that decided to put on the roller skates. But if God is sovereign, then what is the purpose of all this suffering? I had the exact same question after my divorce, after my heart surgery, and during years of dialysis. Why me?
My faith is weak. Occasionally I even question the existence of God. And if He exists, does He care about us personally? If not, then there is no purpose to suffering and life is just random coincidence. All the lyrics from the worship songs I am listening to ask I type this post are meaningless lies. What then?
Being alone makes the mental challenges a thousand times worse. After my parents moved out two years ago, I have been very alone. Now that I am retired and have no more work interactions, it will get worse. I am also very bad at receiving grace from others. I am blessed with close family and friends but I feel like a burden if I need to ask for help. Several friends already admonished me that people care and I need to reach out before I risk hurting myself further. But how?
Despite some of the challenges I mentioned above, I have always thought that I was mentally resilient. Whatever happens in life, I would adapt and keep moving forward. The past six months have shown me a different reality. I am swearing a lot more. I am talking to myself out loud more. I am unable to sleep because my mind is racing with thoughts of regret. I am depressed because all I see going forward is loneliness. What if I am unable to handle life and have a mental breakdown?Will I even know?
What do I do now? I know it is not scientific but my MBTI type is ISTJ so I should make a list:
Physical: Follow surgeon instructions. Keep blood sugar low. Use the bone stimulation machine. See endocrinologist and cardiologist.
Loneliness: Start texting and calling friends more. Give them a chance to reply and help.
Mental Health: Find a therapist. Get a prescription for anti-anxiety medication.
Spiritual Health: Talk to cell group leader/members. Start going to church services again. Meet with pastoral staff.
I think the best advice I have received recently is to have a regular schedule. My default for the past week has been to stay upstairs in my house and languish in bed or in front of a computer watching YouTube videos and Instagram reels. Terrible.
Since finishing my last college degree in 1995, I have never been unemployed. In America, health insurance is typically tied to your job, unless you are over 65 years old, or you are on welfare. By law, I can continue my current health insurance from work, there is a gap nevertheless. So, even though COBRA insurance will retroactively cover me back to June 1st, I technically do not have insurance currently.
From the information I received when I quit, I know it will take a few weeks to even get the COBRA paperwork. However, I did not to be cur off from everything on May 31st. I am running low on prednisone and went online to try and refill the prescription. Instead of seeing my long list of medications, I found nothing. It seems my account was closed, which I understand, but I also lost all the upcoming refills. That means I will need to call my doctors for a new prescription at my local pharmacy. I did confirm with my friend that at her pharmacy, they will refund you the cost of your prescription if you have to pay retail but later have retroactive insurance coverage. Luckily I have lots of medications, other than prednisone. My friend also said that prednisone is super cheap wholesale, like $5 for 100 pills, and she can get some for me. Hopefully this can be resolved before I start running out of more expensive medications.
As for doctor visits, the director of benefits at my prior employer said I need to ask the provider to delay filing the claim, or pay first and get reimbursed when COBRA insurance is active. Unfortunately, I have a lot of appointments scheduled in two weeks. From past experience, something or everything will go wrong and I will need to deal with insurance issues for the next several months. There are pros and cons to single payer insurance in countries like Canada, but not switching health insurance providers all the time seems like a huge positive. I just hope any negative impact is only financial and not physical.
The panic attacks are continuing even though I have a less restrictive cast, and I know this is happening to me. It is a totally weird feeling. I did make an appointment to see my primary care doctor about the symptoms, but I am almost certain I have a panic disorder, hopefully caused by the cast and all the bad news this week.
After considering the symptoms, I managed to check five of them and have question mark on four others. I think some of the ones I marked with a question may be from hypotension or hypoglycemia.
The one that bothered me the most was the combination of sweating and feeling cold. I know the room is warm but if I turn on the fan or A/C, then the cold sensation gets worse until I am shivering, but still sweating. The other symptom is breathing. The chart above says sensation of smothering. I have felt a shortness of breath the entire day today, even though I have been breathing slowly. This really sucks.
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Looking at the solution side, I feel the only one that will help is breathing and I have been doing various methods like 4-7-8 breathing. For the other suggestions, since the cast is always pressuring my leg, it is hard to redirect attention. Walking is out of the question. I know the feelings are harmless but the future unknowns about my heel bone and how long the cast needs to stay on is very stressful.
I was discussing my anxiety symptoms over text with a friend earlier. She asked if I had been exposed to COVID recently since it seems to be going around again. I said I am unsure but not showing any classic COVID symptoms, such as a fever or cough. Just to be safe, I did a rapid test, and it was negative, though the test expired in 2023.
I remember hearing the CDC or other health organization say that the text kits were fine post expiration date. I am pretty sure I did not contract COVID again. That would suck even more.
It is also harder to find data online regarding new cases. A lot of the sites I used to visit are shut down. I did get this from the OC Healthcare Agency.
When my orthopedic surgeon first discussed getting a bone stim machine, he was hesitant about the insurance coverage and timing. I thought he said something about three to four months. However, I have been communicating via text with a sales(?) rep from the bone stim machine company and I just filled out an agreement form. Since my work insurance officially ends today, she wanted to start the process now to avoid any issues from switching to COBRA insurance.
I guess since the machine is covered by insurance, there is some legitimacy. Does insurance cover questionable therapies? I had some acupuncture sessions covered but I do not think it did anything positive. I did find out that since I have not met my insurance deductible, my copay may be around $500. I saw the same machines on sale for around $6,500 so the therapy plan is not cheap.
A lot has happened since the last update ten days ago. I hinted at stuff in some more recent posts, but I will summarize here after speaking to both orthopedic surgeons.
Due to my diabetes, peripheral neuropathy, and even the kidney transplant, my bones are likely weaker than normal. One surgeon said rolling my ankle should not have resulted in bone fracture.
I was healing fine from the initial surgery. The CT scan from March 20th showed everything was normal and healing.
From the May 28th CT scan, one of the two bone fusion sites did not heal properly. Some bone filler from the ankle has been reabsorbed.
Additionally, my heel bone has fractured along (near?) one of the screws holding the metal rod. The surgeon said this was likely due to my weakened bones. There is some bone loss here too.
Unless the heel bone heals itself, the ankle will continue to deteriorate if I keep walking on it. If it heals, and the ankle is not bothering me, then we will leave everything as is.
There are two surgical options, but both are risky. The first involves going back into the joint and adding more bone filler and hoping it sets. The other is to rearrange all the bones again and use a ring external fixator with wires to hold everything together. This looks scary and will take many months. Search “Charcot external fixation device.”
The final option is to amputate below the knee and get a prosthetic lower leg and foot.
For now, we are casting the leg and hope my heel bone will heal on its own. That is the usual treatment for a heel bone fracture. We are also hoping that by not putting weight on the ankle, the ankle joint will regrow some bone. The surgeon ordered a blood test to see if my blood chemistry is conducive to bone growth, and they started the process of getting an EM bone stim machine. A representative from that provider has already called me for insurance approval. I am really hoping this will help and is not a scam.
Obviously, I do not want to lose my leg. I would have the lamest reason for injuring my ankle and amputation. I still have a ton of questions. I did try to ask as many as possible, and I may call or text both surgeons some more for clarity.
Were my bones strong enough for the initial surgery? Or was that the only option so we had to take the risk?
The physical therapy order said 50% weight with boot. However, the therapist had me out of the boot by day three and putting full weight on my ankle. Was that the reason for or contributed to the current issue? I just followed instructions from the physical therapist, and there were several x-rays done after starting physical therapy without showing any apparent issues.
What are the chances of the heel bone healing by itself? I know we have to see if it happens, but I will need to live with a cast and not walk for several more months. I am also suffering from anxiety and panic attacks from the cast and the current situation. The physical symptoms are is making me feel worse.
Are my current surgeons okay with me getting a second/third opinion? I believe that is a pretty standard process before making a major medical decision or getting surgery. Someone from my parents’ church already gave them the name of a foot/ankle orthopedic surgeon from UCI Medical Center.
So, now I need to wait and pray. I waited three months after the first surgery, and I wonder if I somehow pushed the surgeon to get out of the cast early. This time, I need to be more patient, even if the panic attacks are more frequent and intense.
Another decision I need to make is where should I stay? I am currently still at home and living on both floors. That means several trips up and down the staircase. Going down is easy but climbing up on my knees is tiring. It also discourages me from going to the kitchen and getting food. I have lost seven to eight pounds since getting a cast again. Prepping food is also much harder with crutches or a knee scooter. Other options are putting up a bed in my mostly empty living room and staying downstairs or moving back to my sister’s house. At least there is food available at my sister’s house.
Since I am officially retired, I am just sitting around all day regretting past decisions and asking God, “Why?” I know this is bad for me but like the panic attacks, I seem to have zero control. I was on dialysis for three and a half years and this feels way worse.
Life with chronic diseases 