Author: mybadkidney

Going Home?

Ever since being discharged from the first surgery on December 26, 2023, I have been living at my sister’s house. My sister works from home and is very busy during the day, so I typically talk to my sister-in-law. She usually cooks and has been making my lunch and dinner daily along with feeding the rest of their family. I think they have been fine with the arrangement, but nevertheless, I still feel like I am a burden.

The other option for me is to move back to my own house. It is also a two-story structure, but I do not have a bedroom downstairs like my sister’s house. I would either have to sleep in the family room on a recliner or figure out how to climb up and down the staircase somewhat efficiently. I have enough mobility hardware that having a walker and a knee scooter on each floor is no problem, but I would be alone in the house.

I need to map out the pros and cons to decide whether I stay with my sister for another two months or go home:

Stay at sister’s house:

Pros: food availability; people close by for emergencies, help with tasks, and driving to appointments; social interaction

Cons: small room and bed; limited living space and personal items from home; perception of being a burden; different living schedule

Going home:

Pros: more space and larger, more comfortable bed; access to personal items; more privacy; independence

Cons: living solo with help 5 minutes away; need to figure out two meals per day; may need to climb up/down stairs multiple times daily

I think the largest issue is food. I have been pretty independent for the past month her at my sister’s house. I will need someone to drive me to both the local supermarket and Costco weekly to pick up groceries and ready-to-eat food so I can cook minimally or just heat up meals. My church group all volunteered to help so maybe I can get a few weeks of dinner delivered to me.

I will wait until I speak to the surgeon this coming Wednesday to make a decision. If the ankle is healing according to schedule, then I will be more inclined to move home. Otherwise, we may need to repeat the second surgery and I will be starting recovery from day zero, which means I will stay with my sister.

No More Medicare

So, my Medicare coverage ended yesterday. I was eligible for Medicare due to ESRD while I was on dialysis. This carried over when I received a kidney transplant three years ago. The rule says that kidney transplant patients can keep Medicare for three years post-transplant. Since I was still working and making salary, I was in the highest Medicare premium tier and my monthly payment was around $600. Going forward, I will only have my work insurance, then COBRA when I finally retire in a few months.

I am not sure if Medicare was worth it after transplant. With two insurances, I did not have to pay anything for medical services since Medicare covered 80%, and my work insurance covered the rest. Now I will be subject to deductibles and co-pays but save on Medicare premiums. I also have the option to continue Medicare coverage just on my anti-rejection medication, but since no one accepts Medicare Part A for drugs, I will probably rely on my work insurance for prescriptions and deal with everything together when COBRA runs out.

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The Social Security Administration did send me a letter last month reminding me that my Medicare coverage ends on January 31, 2024. I am 50/50 on whether they stop debiting my bank account for premiums at the same time.

Night Photos

My niece and I drove out to Corona Del Mar State Beach last night at around 7:40 pm to take some photos. She needs to take a photo of the ocean each month as part of her marine biology class. However, we just took some pics from the parking lot so there was no marine life to be seen. I was good to get out of the house at night and we did see some stars from the beach.

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On the drive home, my niece commented that it would be awesome to live in Corona Del Mar. I just checked Redfin and houses near the state beach are five million dollars and up. That is crazy expensive, even for Southern California.

Ankle Update 20240130

Photo by Vika Glitter on Pexels.com

It has been two weeks since my last appointment with the surgeon. They finally sent in my medical leave authorization form, but the dates were either incorrect or left blank. I really do not understand why since the office must fill out lots of leave forms from people with orthopedic surgeries. I asked via email for them to update it but since they never reply to emails or phone calls, I do not know the status.

As for my ankle, nothing has changed. I notice the swelling in my right lower leg when I sit for an extended period, and how the swelling goes down when I raise my legs up in bed. There have been a few neuropathy attacks, but I end up taking a Norco pill for each one. I just took one ten minutes ago because of nerve pain, but it went away as soon as I took the pill. The cast is also falling apart at the lower opening as pieces of black fiberglass are breaking off. I have another week until my next appointment, so I hope it lasts.

The thing that is bothering me is the surgeon’s comment about the small chance that the fusing surgery is not successful. In that case. they will have to repeat the surgery and start recovery from zero. I am already going crazy from being non-mobile for a month.

Neuropathy Insomnia

I cannot sleep. The general numbness in my right foot is unbearable. I do not know if it is the cast, since my left foot is numb too. I still feel terrible overall, but not as bad as yesterday. My blood pressure seems in control since I did not have any aged cheese today, even though I do not really know if tyramine is the actual cause.

I did go home to my house today for about six hours and it was not as smooth as I imagined. The primary issue was that I fell off the knee scooter in my bathroom. The scooter is large and hard to maneuver in small spaces. In addition to banging my knee, I do not remember if I put any weight on my right leg, and if that is the cause of my discomfort now. It is also 72°F in the house but it feels hotter.

I am going to take on of the Norco pills to see if that numbs the numbness or makes me drowsy so I can sleep.

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Well, I did take a Norco and fell asleep. Right now, it is 2:30 AM so I slept for a few hours before getting up to go to the bathroom. Unfortunately, my blood sugar was low as I was chasing a high with extra insulin after dinner.

My sister does not have that many sugary snacks in her pantry.

Tyramine?

I have not been feeling well since last night. It was not something specific like a fever or headache, but a general sense of not being well. Obviously, my ankle/foot is busted, but I just felt sluggish and unsettled. Sometimes it feels like I am on the verge of having a panic attack. There is definitely a mental issue that I am and still need to deal with. but this feels like something physical.

Since I only have a few diagnostic tools, I just checked my blood sugar (normal) and my blood pressure. I am using a wrist meter, and the reading came back as 220/120. Needless to say, that is a crazy high number. However, like my creatinine number, it has been fairly stable for weeks. When I went for the creatinine retest, I measured a 116/70 at Quest. This is normal for everyone and a bit low for me.

I read up online on reasons for sudden blood pressure rise and near the top of the list was tyramine. This is an amino acid that regulates blood pressure but is found in aged cheeses like parmesan. There were other reasons, but nothing was really relevant. I did see my SIL put in a lot of grated parmesan in the dinner dish last night, and I ate a Caesar’s salad today with what seemed like a large quantity of parmesan as well. I took an extra Metoprolol pill and will stay away from cheese for dinner to see if my blood pressure drops.

RRR

I watched this ridiculous Indian movie yesterday.

My coworker told me a few weeks ago that this was his favorite recent movie, and it was really good. I took him at his word, but also checked Rotton Tomatoes where it has a score of 95%. Anyway, the movie turned out to be Bollywood light, with all the crazy CGI stuff but a bit light on big musical sets until the end. It was not a bad movie, especially if you like Bollywood, but it was not that good. I texted my coworker after the movie, and he laughed.

Yes, three hours. My niece thought it was hilarious though.

Ankle Update 20240120

I had an appointment with the orthopedic surgeon on Wednesday. They removed my splint, and the surgeon also removed a lot of stitches. My leg/foot looked terrible and was still swollen. However, the surgeon commented that it looked good. He then wrapped the leg/foot, and someone else put a cast on for me.

The cast is physically smaller, but I do not know if there is any weight difference. The cast is all fiberglass, and the surface is very rough. I must put on a sock on my left foot when sleeping since the cast was tearing away skin on my left ankle. The cast is also much tighter, so I need to put my leg up, so it does not swell.

They did not take an x-ray this time. I am scheduled to go back in three weeks, and I think they will remove the cast for x-rays. The surgeon said I may need twelve weeks with a cast, followed by a boot and physical therapy. That totally sucks. He also mentioned for the first time that there is a small chance the surgery is not successful, and they would have to operate again and restart the clock to zero for recovery. That would suck even more.

Flowers

A friend/ex-coworker came by yesterday to see me. She also had some work-related questions, but she bought some flowers for me. Being immobile and not able to go outside the house independently, it is nice to have visitors. A few other coworkers and my church cell group also picked me up to go out to eat so that was a nice break too.

Creatinine Scare

Out of all the lab test results, the first one I check is my creatinine levels. This is a good estimate of how well your kidneys are filtering the toxins out of your blood. The normal range is from 0.7 to 1.3 mg/dL for men. Post-transplant, my levels are a bit above the high end, but my nephrologist says that is typical.

During the past month, I have had many lab tests done, mainly because of the two ankle surgeries. Here are the results:

DateCreatinine (mg/dL)eGFR
10/20/20231.3463
12/24/20232.0637
12/25/20231.4557
12/26/20231.6150
1/2/20241.50*55
1/3/20241.70*47
1/4/20241.40*59
1/8/20242.2334
1/17/20241.5851
*Test results from Hoag Orthopedic Institute; remainder from St. Joseph Hospital

As evident from the results, my creatinine level fluctuate wildly. My nephrologist did say that test results, and actual kidney function, is highly dependent on hydration levels. Still, I was freaked out by the 2.23 number on January 8th so my nephrologist ordered another test. She just called today and was fine with the 1.58 result. I really do not want to deal with kidney issues while I am still one-legged.

Post-surgery Neuropathy Attack

I had a wild dream that my foot and ankle operation would somehow stop the peripheral neuropathy attacks. Wishful thinking of course, and my first post-surgery neuropathy attack just started this morning at 2:00 am. This time, the pain is in my right heel. With the splint on my leg, I cannot reach the site to try and massage it. My right heel is also the entry point of a metal rod that runs up and into my legbone.

I took a Norco pill at 2:00 am and it did help. However, the narcotic effect wore off hours ago and I need to wait eight hours between pills. The instructions said not to take other pain medications, so I am not taking Tylenol either. The pain seems to be increasing so this may be a bad attack lasting hours.

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Due to the pain, I cancelled my English call to Ukraine this morning. I have about three hours before I have to leave for my two-week post-surgery appointment. I am going to try and take a nap if possible.

First Day of the Rest of My Life

Today is the first day of my proposed medical leave. I say proposed because I have not filed the paperwork but will do so today. Once approved, I will be out of work but collecting $1,600 of disability each week. After three months, I will take one month of vacation, then I will be officially done with my current company after thirteen years.

I have not figured out what to do next.

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Day one of “retirement” and I got two requests for one-on-one meeting and another director contesting how my boss reassigned my previous staff to new managers. Sigh…

Done

I have been talking about retirement so long that now it is a reality, I am having a hard time accepting it. Technically, I am still employed, but after today, I have medical leave, and my boss said I could use PTO to get to the next stock vesting date. So really after today, I should be done with work. I said I would answer questions and stuff, even after the official termination date, but I am done with work.

Norco FTW

I woke up this morning to a lot of nerve pain in both feet. Since it was not limited to my right foot, it was probably my old friend “peripheral neuropathy” calling. i went back to sleep and woke at noon with about the same amount of pain.

In the past, I would take Tylenol or Tylenol PM and try to sleep it off. Because I was not 100% sure if the pain was surgery related, I took one of the prescribed painkillers: hydrocodone-acetaminophen 5-325 mg, aka Norco. The good stuff is 5 mg of hydrocodone. I swear, the pain went away in less than 10 minutes. It was like someone turned off the lights. No pain.

I know these things are addictive if overused. I created a new note on my iPhone to track what time I took the medication. The pain has not returned but it has been only six hours. I am supposed to wait at least eight hours and no more than three days. Right now, I do not think I will need another one today. I was also prescribed oxycodone, which I hear is even more potent. Crazy shit.

Happy 2024!

Despite my pessimistic recap of 2023 in the last post, I am looking forward to the new year. Even though I have pending surgery in two days, I think I am well cared for and there are a lot of people praying for me. My work situation will be resolved after this brief delay, and I am still making travel plans.

Non-Weight Bearing

These are my most hated three words right now. I know why I cannot put weight on my right leg since I have a new metal rod in it. But hopping around on one leg is hard. I have crutches, two walkers, and a wheelchair, but I am not mobile at all.

I called my boss today to update him and he suggested I take a disability leave. I guess it is a “no no” to tell someone to quit while they are injured, from a work event no less. I also spoke with HR and started the process of going on medical leave. This will be the third time for me.

It has only been one day, but I do have trouble getting around. Going to the bathroom or cleaning oneself is a lot of work. I do not know if I can live on my own even if I stay on the first floor of my house.

2023 Recap

If you count the last week of this 2023, it has been a shitty year. I am still living with the consequences of poor decision making earlier this month and will not know until next week if I will walk normally again.

Here are some good and bad memories from 2023:

GoodBad
Meeting and developing deep friendship with new coworkerCoworker gets fired then finding out relationship was not that deep
Having friend from over a decade ago visit from ChinaChina friend breaks relationship with her best friend while in USA (not me)
Del Mar track party with previously mentioned coworkerLost main analyst on work team; had to rehire quicky
Company stock price increased 25%, solidifying retirement plansGot a lot more responsibility and larger team at work with no raise
Long awaited trip to Toronto to visit relativesRelatives getting old and staying in nursing homes; uncle in US passes
Finally decided to replace seven-year-old car with new Tesla Model XBreak foot badly and cannot drive new car for at least three months

I think if my foot heals and I can finally retire, 2024 will be a better year. I will still be alone, but have time to focus on finding new friends and companionship.

Instagram Meme Wisdom

I believe you find out something about yourself when you are forced to be alone with your thoughts. I have been struggling with relationships for a long time, and I have written about a recent coworker/friend relationship in some recent posts. Sitting alone with my metal foot for the past few days has given me some clarity, but not much.

You know what the worst feeling is
It is when you find out
You didn’t mean as much to someone
As you thought you did
And you end up feeling so stupid
For caring about that person for so long

I realize now that work relationships do not last once you are no longer employed at the same place. Without the daily proxmity from sharing the same office, what you once thought was a close relationship turns out to be just a distant acquaintance. I guess the best I can hope for is this meme: