Hot Flashes

For about the past six to seven months, I have been experiencing what feels like hot flashes. The affected area has been mainly the back of my neck and down to my upper back. My skin feels hot, but sometimes I also get chills or start sweating. I do not know if there are any physical issues, but it feels really uncomfortable.

Usually when this happens, I try and take some vital measurements to see if my blood pressure or blood sugar is either too low or too high. However, I have not found any correlation to either of those two factors. On the Mayo Clinic site linked above, they said the primary cause of hot flashes is menopause. Obviously, that is not the cause for me so it is likely a side effect of the many drugs I take.

Just now, I woke up to use the bathroom. I measured my blood sugar and it was a bit high at 190, likely from eating too much rice for dinner. I was feeling fine, i.e., no burning skin sensation. My insulin app said to inject four units of Humalog, and after a few minutes, the burning sensation appeared on my back. I shoot Humalog several times daily. Is that the cause?

Even now, after twenty minutes and only four units, my back is still burning, and I feel a bit out of breath. I looked online and found some conflicting information. Some sites said Humalog can cause chills and sweating, but the official website listed sweating as a secondary side effect of hypoglycemia. Here is what is listed as common side effects:

And here are severe allergic reactions:

I have been taking Humalog since my kidney transplant three years ago, and I do not believe I have had any allergic reactions to it. I typically shoot both Toujeo and Humalog before breakfast so I will try injecting a small amount first to see if I get a reaction before injection an entire dose.

Feeling Terrible

I feel terrible this morning. It started with a neuropathy attack but that has mostly subsided now. However, both my feet feel like they are really swollen but it is not visible, not in my left foot anyway. I am also experiencing some sort of hot flashes, especially in my upper back. I feel very cold even though my skin is burning on my back. I check the thermometer and my room is at 69°F. That should be very comfortable, but I am alternating between feeling cold and feeling hot.

Since I woke up at 2:00 am, I am also very tired. Add to all that blurry vision and a slightly upset stomach, I really feel terrible and want to take a nap.

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Now I am starting to sweat a little bit. I am trying to find a thermometer at my sister’s house. I hope I do not have a fever or something.

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The cold sweats and bad feeling got worse, so I asked for a ride back to my house to get my old school glucose. However, the reading was 145, so neither high nor low. I felt better in the car, but I felt bad again right after walking into the house. Strange.

The current Libre 3 sensor is returning a page full of 373 errors, but the app has not asked me to replace the sensor. It is just showing the same sensor error screen.

Another Libre 3 Error

The Libre 3 sensors suck. I just stretched my arms just now and I could feel some of the adhesive backing on the sensor peel away from my skin. This is the third sensor in a row that has failed in about a week. The life of the sensor is fourteen days, so I am only getting about half of the life. Usually, you can go online and fill out a form for a replacement sensor. I did not fill out a form for the first sensor that failed since I was at day 10, but the next one failed at day 7. The replacement has not arrived yet and the next one has failed already.

Whenever you get an extended sensor error and the log shows a bunch of 373 errors, the sensor is dead. Typically, this means the sensor needle has come out of the skin, and soon you will get a 365 error, which is to replace the sensor. Unfortunately, I do not have any more sensors at my sister’s house since I did not expect so many of them to fail so quickly. I need to go home and get more, but debating whether I should start using the older but larger Libre 2 sensors again.

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Well, the sensor finally failed and gave me a “Replace Sensor” message. Luckily, I have one more sensor at my sister’s house, but I had to go home to get my old finger-prick meter. I am also getting confused with all the Libre 3 boxes and sensors in my room and keeping track of which ones I need to send back to Abbott.

Neuropathy 20240204

I am in the middle of another neuropathy attack this morning. The pain started at about 2:00 am in my left heel, and it is bad enough to keep me awake until now. I am glad the pain is not in my right foot even though I cannot do much about the pain. I think I will try to sleep a bit more. A friend is picking me up for lunch, so I still have time for a three-hour nap.

I have about five Norco pills left. I am debating whether the pain is bad enough to use one of the pills so I can sleep.

Short Term Plans

Assuming I can walk again by the time I officially quit my job, probably mid-May, I need to plan ahead with some activities. Otherwise, I feel I will just sit at home every day and do nothing.

Several options:

Travel: Since the future is unclear, I do not want to plan any big trips, i.e., international, until I know I will be able to walk. This includes my cousin’s wedding in Bali in early July. I have not visited many national parks in the Western USA, so I feel like a road trip is necessary. Not sure if I want to take my parents along. Maybe I can plan an overseas trip in mid-autumn, probably to Asia.

School: I have thought about taking cooking or language lessons in the past. There is a semi-professional cooking school nearby, and they offer twelve-week cooking and pastry courses. I can also try and learn Korean in person.

Hobbies: I do not have too many hobbies. I do realize I probably spent too much time playing computer games, especially solo. I want to do more music production so I may need singing classes or something. I also need to put together my e-bike kit that has been sitting in my garage so I can go out riding sometimes.

Financial Planning: I will need to spend more time on budgets and maybe on investing as I will not have a regular income. I should be more interested in investments, but I just want to set up some investment accounts and let other professionals deal with it.

Work: An ex-coworker showed me a job listing at her company. It describes my current role. I believe I can do well in the position, but it will be a lot of work and I am unsure if I will be ready for work so soon after “retirement.”

Church: I told my small group that I want to serve more at church. My main task at previous churches were either sound engineer, or bass player on the worship team. I can also lead singing and play guitar, but since my current church has a lot of people, there are many more talented people serving in those roles already.

Volunteer: I have not really researched this too much. It would be outside of stuff I do at church. I will probably keep talking to my “student” in Kyiv and find other ways to volunteer.

Going Home?

Ever since being discharged from the first surgery on December 26, 2023, I have been living at my sister’s house. My sister works from home and is very busy during the day, so I typically talk to my sister-in-law. She usually cooks and has been making my lunch and dinner daily along with feeding the rest of their family. I think they have been fine with the arrangement, but nevertheless, I still feel like I am a burden.

The other option for me is to move back to my own house. It is also a two-story structure, but I do not have a bedroom downstairs like my sister’s house. I would either have to sleep in the family room on a recliner or figure out how to climb up and down the staircase somewhat efficiently. I have enough mobility hardware that having a walker and a knee scooter on each floor is no problem, but I would be alone in the house.

I need to map out the pros and cons to decide whether I stay with my sister for another two months or go home:

Stay at sister’s house:

Pros: food availability; people close by for emergencies, help with tasks, and driving to appointments; social interaction

Cons: small room and bed; limited living space and personal items from home; perception of being a burden; different living schedule

Going home:

Pros: more space and larger, more comfortable bed; access to personal items; more privacy; independence

Cons: living solo with help 5 minutes away; need to figure out two meals per day; may need to climb up/down stairs multiple times daily

I think the largest issue is food. I have been pretty independent for the past month her at my sister’s house. I will need someone to drive me to both the local supermarket and Costco weekly to pick up groceries and ready-to-eat food so I can cook minimally or just heat up meals. My church group all volunteered to help so maybe I can get a few weeks of dinner delivered to me.

I will wait until I speak to the surgeon this coming Wednesday to make a decision. If the ankle is healing according to schedule, then I will be more inclined to move home. Otherwise, we may need to repeat the second surgery and I will be starting recovery from day zero, which means I will stay with my sister.

Ankle Update 20240130

It has been two weeks since my last appointment with the surgeon. They finally sent in my medical leave authorization form, but the dates were either incorrect or left blank. I really do not understand why since the office must fill out lots of leave forms from people with orthopedic surgeries. I asked via email for them to update it but since they never reply to emails or phone calls, I do not know the status.

As for my ankle, nothing has changed. I notice the swelling in my right lower leg when I sit for an extended period, and how the swelling goes down when I raise my legs up in bed. There have been a few neuropathy attacks, but I end up taking a Norco pill for each one. I just took one ten minutes ago because of nerve pain, but it went away as soon as I took the pill. The cast is also falling apart at the lower opening as pieces of black fiberglass are breaking off. I have another week until my next appointment, so I hope it lasts.

The thing that is bothering me is the surgeon’s comment about the small chance that the fusing surgery is not successful. In that case. they will have to repeat the surgery and start recovery from zero. I am already going crazy from being non-mobile for a month.

Neuropathy Insomnia

I cannot sleep. The general numbness in my right foot is unbearable. I do not know if it is the cast, since my left foot is numb too. I still feel terrible overall, but not as bad as yesterday. My blood pressure seems in control since I did not have any aged cheese today, even though I do not really know if tyramine is the actual cause.

I did go home to my house today for about six hours and it was not as smooth as I imagined. The primary issue was that I fell off the knee scooter in my bathroom. The scooter is large and hard to maneuver in small spaces. In addition to banging my knee, I do not remember if I put any weight on my right leg, and if that is the cause of my discomfort now. It is also 72°F in the house but it feels hotter.

I am going to take on of the Norco pills to see if that numbs the numbness or makes me drowsy so I can sleep.

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Well, I did take a Norco and fell asleep. Right now, it is 2:30 AM so I slept for a few hours before getting up to go to the bathroom. Unfortunately, my blood sugar was low as I was chasing a high with extra insulin after dinner.

My sister does not have that many sugary snacks in her pantry.

Flowers

A friend/ex-coworker came by yesterday to see me. She also had some work-related questions, but she bought some flowers for me. Being immobile and not able to go outside the house independently, it is nice to have visitors. A few other coworkers and my church cell group also picked me up to go out to eat so that was a nice break too.

Creatinine Scare

Out of all the lab test results, the first one I check is my creatinine levels. This is a good estimate of how well your kidneys are filtering the toxins out of your blood. The normal range is from 0.7 to 1.3 mg/dL for men. Post-transplant, my levels are a bit above the high end, but my nephrologist says that is typical.

During the past month, I have had many lab tests done, mainly because of the two ankle surgeries. Here are the results:

Date	Creatinine (mg/dL)	eGFR
10/20/2023	1.34	63
12/24/2023	2.06	37
12/25/2023	1.45	57
12/26/2023	1.61	50
1/2/2024	1.50*	55
1/3/2024	1.70*	47
1/4/2024	1.40*	59
1/8/2024	2.23	34
1/17/2024	1.58	51

*Test results from Hoag Orthopedic Institute; remainder from St. Joseph Hospital

As evident from the results, my creatinine level fluctuate wildly. My nephrologist did say that test results, and actual kidney function, is highly dependent on hydration levels. Still, I was freaked out by the 2.23 number on January 8th so my nephrologist ordered another test. She just called today and was fine with the 1.58 result. I really do not want to deal with kidney issues while I am still one-legged.

Post-surgery Neuropathy Attack

I had a wild dream that my foot and ankle operation would somehow stop the peripheral neuropathy attacks. Wishful thinking of course, and my first post-surgery neuropathy attack just started this morning at 2:00 am. This time, the pain is in my right heel. With the splint on my leg, I cannot reach the site to try and massage it. My right heel is also the entry point of a metal rod that runs up and into my legbone.

I took a Norco pill at 2:00 am and it did help. However, the narcotic effect wore off hours ago and I need to wait eight hours between pills. The instructions said not to take other pain medications, so I am not taking Tylenol either. The pain seems to be increasing so this may be a bad attack lasting hours.

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Due to the pain, I cancelled my English call to Ukraine this morning. I have about three hours before I have to leave for my two-week post-surgery appointment. I am going to try and take a nap if possible.

First Day of the Rest of My Life

Today is the first day of my proposed medical leave. I say proposed because I have not filed the paperwork but will do so today. Once approved, I will be out of work but collecting $1,600 of disability each week. After three months, I will take one month of vacation, then I will be officially done with my current company after thirteen years.

I have not figured out what to do next.

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Day one of “retirement” and I got two requests for one-on-one meeting and another director contesting how my boss reassigned my previous staff to new managers. Sigh…

Non-Weight Bearing

These are my most hated three words right now. I know why I cannot put weight on my right leg since I have a new metal rod in it. But hopping around on one leg is hard. I have crutches, two walkers, and a wheelchair, but I am not mobile at all.

I called my boss today to update him and he suggested I take a disability leave. I guess it is a “no no” to tell someone to quit while they are injured, from a work event no less. I also spoke with HR and started the process of going on medical leave. This will be the third time for me.

It has only been one day, but I do have trouble getting around. Going to the bathroom or cleaning oneself is a lot of work. I do not know if I can live on my own even if I stay on the first floor of my house.

Post Surgery Neuropathy

First day after surgery and I am having double neuropathy attack in my left foot. My ankle and left outer sole is hurting like crazy right now with five second long attacks.

Can’t this wait one fucking day?

Bleeding

I am at a low right now. The wound at the screw on top of my foot opened up and I bled all over the guest bathroom floor at my sister’s house. Everyone is out celebrating New Year’s weekend so I feel especially alone.

Who am I kidding. If I could still walk I would be just as alone staring at my phone.

Worst Christmas Ever

Several weeks ago I made a post about spraining my ankle. Well, it turns out that I managed to break some bones, and then dislocate the joint by continuing to walk on it. Neuropathy is a bitch.

My ankle eventually did started hurting so I went to urgent care on Christmas Eve. After a four hour wait, I finally got an x-ray of my ankle and foot, and it looked bad. I was sent to the ER and underwent emergency surgery Christmas morning.

Due to the multiple fractures, the orthopedic surgeon put in a large bar and several screws into my leg and foot. Obviously I cannot put ant weight on it so the past few days have been tough. I did see the surgeon again after being discharged from the hospital, and we scheduled the second surgery for next Wednesday. This will put a large rod in my foot, ankle, and leg, and fuse the entire joint so I can walk.

If the surgery is successful, then I will have a two to three month recovery where I cannot put weight on my right foot. This sucks but at least I will not have all this metal on the outside of my foot.

It is kind of scary how a momentary bad decision can impact your life. What if I did not go to the holiday party? What if I did not meet up with my coworker friend who wanted to roller skate? What if I took off my skates and walked back to the bench after the first fall? What if I got an x-ray the next day instead of waiting for three weeks? So many what ifs?

This definitely puts a temporary halt to my retirement plans. I do not even know what to do next? Take vacation days? Go on medical leave? I guess I am just focused on being able to walk in the future.

Worst Neuropathy Ever

It does seem each attack is worse than the previous one, but the current attack is probably the worst ever. I twisted my right ankle badly during a work party and it started hurting a lot more this week. I came home early because I could feel the swelling and the pain intensify. When I got home, I tried to take a nap but after thirty minutes, both feet exploded in neuropathy pain. After settling down a bit, ther are now four active sites that are hurting. The worst is right below the left inside ankle. On the right side, the entire foot is swollen and sore from the sprain, but there are three points of intense pain. I can barely walk and there is no way I can sleep, yet I still need to go to my sister’s house to take care of her two dogs.

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Since I could not walk that well, I called my parents to go and feed the dogs. I was able to get about an hour’s worth of sleep, and my fee3t seemed better, except tor the ankle. I picked up some dinner, then went to my sister’s house. I was so tired that I fell asleep fright after eating.

At around 1:00 am this morning, I woke up with both feet on fire. There were four pain sites on my left foot, and my entire fight foot was numb. If I tried too put weight on the right foot, sharp numbing pain would engulf the right edge of my foot, and I could my ankle hurting below all the numbness I can barely walk to the bathroom now.

There is no way to sleep with both feel in intense pain non-stop. It has been four hours and I need to sleep more. This feels like the worst case scenario for my neuropathy: 24/7 intense pain and sleep only when you pass out from fatigue. Great.

Libre 3 Suspicious Readings

I have been using the Libre 3 Continuous Glucose Monitor (CGM) for several months. Other than a few adhesive failures, it has performed satisfactorily. When it does show a sensor read error however, there is not much I can do but wait, versus physically rescanning again for a Libre 2.

This evening, I got a low glucose warning on my Apple Watch, which is connected to my iPhone with the Libre 3 app. It showed a reading of 54, which is really low. The odd thing is that I did not feel any signs of hypoglycemia. I usually feel sick and start to sweat at around 70.

Since there was a down arrow on the 54 reading, I was concerned my blood sugar would drop further. I went downstairs to make something to eat, and the sensor threw an error. You can see the sharp drop in the first screenshot is gone. A few minutes later, the reading was 94 and the line did not get close to 54. False alarm? A 54 reading for me means stop whatever you are doing and quickly find a source of sugar. A false negative for low blood sugar is obviously much worse than a false positive, but whatever sugar I ingest could spike my blood sugar too quickly.

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Now my blood sugar is at 157 after eating a can of Campbell Chicken Noodle soup with some oyster crackers. I did not shoot any insulin since it was low, but now I may have to.

It has increased to 186 while I was typing the paragraph above with an up arrow. Can I trust this reading? This is ridiculous.

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Ugh. Sensor error again. The large rise is now gone and the high is now about 125. I should wait until the error clears, and check with a finger prick.

Neuropathy and Balance

Last night at our company holiday party, there was a small roller-skating area set up along with roller skate rentals. One of my coworkers used to figure skate and suggested we try. Growing up in Canada, I spent hours each weekend skating in our local community center ice rink It has been a long time, but skating is like riding a bike, no?

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com

No. I wiped out pretty bad right away and then a second time where I skinned my knee. I did not know that since my long pants did not rip, but it turned out there was a lot of blood, but it just stayed on the wound. Since it was also fairly cold last night, I did not feel anything until I got home. Ugh. I should not have sucked that badly.

When thinking about this today, I remember that I had zero sense of balance. I can also ski and ride a bike, so I have some balance. What else could it be? I then saw this and many other articles:

Symptoms of peripheral neuropathy
The main symptoms of peripheral neuropathy can include:

numbness and tingling in the feet or hands

burning, stabbing or shooting pain in affected areas

loss of balance and co-ordination

muscle weakness, especially in the feet

https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/peripheral-neuropathy/

I am ususlly so focused on the first two items that I forget about the other two. It was stupid to even try since I know my core muscles are already weak. I am glad I got away with just a scrape and that I did not break any bones or fall on my head and getting traumatic brain injury. Stupid idiot.

Consumerism Fail

I know I wrote about wasteful spending, but these speakers have been living in my mind for ~~two weeks~~ seven days. I do not even know if the amplifier I have is good enough to drive these awesome speakers so maybe I will need to spend another $1,000 soon. The amp is a McIntosh MA-6100 from the late 1970, which I wrote about already. It has enough power at 8Ω but I read the LS50 could drop lower than that. Also, the amplifier is almost fifty years old and electronics will wear out eventually. I will decide on the amp once I hook up the new speakers and give it a listen.

Why did I pull the trigger? The answer is not great but probably just because I wanted to. I denied having an addictive personality, but maybe that is only partially true. For example, one could say thinking about a pair of speakers, no matter how swesome sounding and sexy looking, is pretty addictive behavior. In the end, I was feeling a bit depressed again, and spending the $1,000 felt good in that moment, like I deserved it. In a sense, I do deserve it since I have busted my ass working for thirty years, but it also does not feel quite right.

At least there was no sales tax collected.

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It was not a total failure on my part. I did not purchase these speakers. My old amp does not have a change against these $225k speakers.