In addition to my bad cough and sore throat, my peripheral neuropathy is really bad right now. There are five areas that are hurting all the same time, three on the left foot and two on the right foot. There is really no pattern to the pain, and all of it seems pretty random. My refrigerator is mostly empty, so I need to go to the supermarket to get some groceries. Hopefully, some of the neuropathy will go away as I walk.
Category: Health & Wellness
Blueair Air Purifiers
One of my friend’s husband has a lot of allergies. Throughout their house, they have these huge air purifiers made by Blueair. They are also expensive.
When I bought a Blueair several years ago, I purchased one of their newer cylindrical air purifiers and used it a lot. I believe it was the 411 Auto model for medium room. At the time, I also bought a replacement filter, which I finally used today. The 411 Auto’s fan was stuck on high speed which indicated that I need to replace the filter.
The top one is the old filter, and the bottom one is the replacement. I think that is pretty good proof of the air purifier’s effectiveness. Right now, I am sneezing up a storm just from replacing the filter. For Cyber Monday, I had purchased another unit, but got the model wrong. I thought 311 was the same size so I bought a 311i Max. The “i” lets you connect the unit to an app via Bluetooth and allows for Alexa integration. It was bigger than I thought.
The old 411 Auto is naked because the outer cloth enclosure is drying after washing. That was pretty gross too. I think I will leave the huge unit in my bedroom. Since the sale is still on, I purchased two 411i Max units for my two offices. I spend a lot of time upstairs in my house and since it is very dusty, additional air purifiers should help the air quality. Here is the air quality display from the app.
supposedly my room was at 120 for PMI 2.5 and now it is only 24. The gray line is outside, which is currently 4.
COVID Scare
The coughing I posted about yesterday got worse, and this morning I felt terrible. I was still coughing and my chest hurts each time I coughed. Add to that, I had three locations on my feet that felt like a neuropathy attach was incoming. I usually staty home on Mondays anyway, but I emailed work telling them I may not reply to emails and I walso cancelled my English volunteer session.
A coworker texted me this morning saying she tested positive for COVID. I met with her one-on-one Tuesday. I think I would have tested positive by now if I go infected. I did a few more testes, including one this morning, and I am still negative. Other than Thursday mahjong and dinner, I have noe come in contact with anyione for the past several days.
Another coworkesaid I was obsessive with the tests when I show her the above photo. I have lots of test kits at home, and I do need to know if I have COVID ASAP so I can get some follow-up medication. I think I am okay and will likely go to work tomorrow.
Persistent Phlegm
Sometime yesterday, I started feeling I have phlegm or mucus in my throat that I am unable to cough out. It was worse during the night, and it was irritating enough that I could not sleep at all. I have tried coughing hard and often, but it still feels like something is stuck in my throat. My throat also hurts from all the coughing. It kind of feels like the time after surgery when I was painfully coughing up phlegm for weeks.
In addition to a sore throat, I feel like vomiting from all the coughing. I also have the weird hot flash symptom, but my temperature is normal when measured using two separate thermometers. I just took a COVID rapid test in case I got infected somehow. Results in about ten minutes. So right now, I feel extremely tired but still cannot sleep due to the weird throat symptoms.
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The hot flashes is super strange too. I feel like I have a sunburn, but my skin is not warm to the touch. Meanwhile, I am sctually cold since the ambient temperature feels cold compared to my fake hot skin?
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The first batch of COVID tests I grabbed from my drawer expired in 2022. These were the thin orange boxes. I used a lot of these when I got COVID on our Europe trip. I then found a bunch that were in white boxes and loked something you can get at Costco or Walmart. You are supposed to wait fifteen minutes, but it has been over twelve minutes and there is no indicvation of a COVID infection.
It has been fifteen minutes, and the results still show negative.
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About two hours has passed since I started this post. I ended up throwing up twice, both times from me sticking a finger down my throat. There was not much food, but a lot of acid. I did feel better after throwing up, and the hot flashes mostly disappeared. My throat is still very sore and the feeling of having phlegm stuck in my throat remains.
Prospera Results
After almost three years of getting home blood draws and sending in test tubes of blood to Natera, I finally received a link to my Prospera results. From their website:
Covered by Medicare, Prospera is a transplant rejection assessment test that uses a simple blood draw to evaluate the risk of rejection of a transplanted kidney.
Through the use of advanced cell-free DNA technology, Prospera increases a provider’s ability to identify otherwise undetected rejection that might lead to kidney loss. Catching transplant rejection as soon as possible can help providers develop a treatment plan to best protect the donated kidney.
https://www.natera.com/organ-health/prospera-organ-transplantation-assessment/
Hmm. I guess I never saw the Medicare part. I have not paid for any of these tests for the past three years. I orginally thought it was part of a research program, but it appears that the test costs were covered by Medicare. Not sure what happens when my Medicare coverage ends in two months.
As for the results, there are two measurements in the reference range: dd-cfDNA% and dd-cfDNA score. For the result to be classified as decreased risk of rejection, the criteria are dd-cfDNA% < 1% and dd-cfDNA score < 78 cp/ml.
| Blood Draw Date | dd-cfDNA% (< 1%) | dd-cfDNA score (< 78) |
| 2/25/2021 | 0.26% | — |
| 3/29/2021 | 0.43% | — |
| 4/26/2021 | 0.41% | — |
| 5/27/2021 | 0.32% | — |
| 7/23/2021 | 0.23% | — |
| 10/25/2021 | 0.16% | 10 cp/ml |
| 1/24/2022 | 0.25% | 10 cp/ml |
| 4/25/2022 | 0.16% | 8 cp/ml |
| 7/25/2022 | 0.22% | 12 cp/ml |
| 10/26/2022 | 0.18% | 12 cp/ml |
| 7/26/2023 | ||
The results appear to say that I am at a decreased risk of rejection. However, I do not know if any of the fluctuations in the results are significant. I also do not have the results yet from the latest blood draw yesterday.
Pre-Retirement
I went into the office today as I typically do on Tuesdays and Thursdays. We had one person quit this afternoon and everyone clapped as he walked out. It is a strange tradition, especially since this employee only worked about a year and was in a clerical position. I said to my boss that I do not want any happy hours, parties, or cake. I just want to walk out and be done. Since I have been at the same company for twelve and a half years, I do not think I can escape that easily.
My cell group at church knows that I have been talking about retiring for years, but the reality hit me today. A few coworkers joked that I could quit now since we received our latest vested stock yesterday. I made the same comment several times too, but it still felt like a normal workday. I will be there for at least another two months so it will become more soon.
I am feeling a lot of anxiety though. Most nights I am home alone trying to pass the time until the next day. This will be much worse if I do not have a job, and regular interaction with coworkers. When my parents retired and spent most of their time at home, my thought was “they are just waiting to die.” I am trying hard to come up with things to do post-retirement, but it is hard not to picture myself in the “waiting to die” mode.
Libre 3 Sucks Too
I am only on my second Libre 3 sensor after switching from the older Libre 2 series. I probably used no more than thirty of the Libre 2 sensors and had three failures. Abbott did replace them, but a 10% failure rate is not good.
About an hour ago, the app stopped reading the sensor. This happens quite often, and Abbott suggests that the user turns the phone’s Bluetooth off then on. After trying several times, I noticed that the sensor had fallen off. It was on the back of my right upper arm and stayed for seven days (fourteen-day life) before falling off. I took many showers after switching to Libre 3, and the first sensor lasted fourteen days without any issues. I wiped the area of my arm with alcohol wipes before applying the sensor, so I do not know why it is so dirty looking. You can see the plastic needle that goes into my arm. Abbott will likely ask me to send the sensor back to them. Gross.
I went online again to the patient support page and filled out a form. When I did this with Libre 2 sensors that fell off or stopped working, Abbott sent me a replacement. I hope I do get a replacement sensor since my pharmacy only gave me six sensors for three months of usage. That works out to 84 days but there are 91 days in a quarter. I still have some Libre 2 sensors, but I am used to not having to scan the scanner with my phone.
Monday Blues
Today was a shitty day.
I drove to work this morning even though I typically work from home on Mondays. Initially I had an English tutoring session with my Ukranian friend at 9:00 am, but he texted me last minute to say that he was cooking chops (pork? lamb?) and did not have time for the call. That is poor planning. We were going to delay the call for an hour, but he decided to cancel. With no other meetings until 11:00 am, I decided to go to work. I had an important meeting in the afternoon, but I really wanted to talk to a coworker who is going out of the country on Wednesday.
Since I left home so late, I could not find a charging spot for my car. It was not urgent since I had charged full the night before. In my rush to leave the house, I also forgot to bring an insulin pen. Long story short, without the insulin pen, I did not eat anything all day, and all my meetings were cancelled or postponed to another day. I also did not get to talk to my coworker; we just traded a few text messages.
None of the items above were that important, yet I felt the same feeling of helplessness and indifference creep up on me. I briefly considered turning in a resignation letter and quitting at the end of the month. That feeling passed but I did not feel any better. At 5:00 pm, I decided to just pack up and go home. I feel totally lost.
Spiritual Neuropathy Attack?
This is the fourth time in the past four weeks that I have experienced a neuropathy attack Saturday night or Sunday morning. An attack just started about fifteen minutes ago while I was still in bed. I was actually awake from 4:00 am to 6:00 am and there was no pain. Now it is 7:30 am and there is massive pain at the outer bottom of my left foot.
I mentioned this to my cell group last week at church. The pain started at 3:00 am but had subsided by 7:00 am so I could attend church. They think it may be a spiritual attack to keep me from attending Sunday service. My church is pretty charismatic on things like Holy Spirit, healing, and prophecy. I am a bit skeptical since I have had these attacks for a long time and have not previously noticed any patterns. However, four out of four weeks of getrting pain right before church is kind of weird.
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Ouch! This is a bad one. Instead of quick jabs, the paid episodes are lasting close to five seconds. If this keeps up for more than thirty minutes, which is very likely, I do not think I can go to church this morning.
Blindness Video
I saw this on YouTube (shorts):
The video was explaining the various types of vision impairment versus total darkness. The second one on the list was cataracts. The demonstrated deterioration was much worse than what I experienced. I did have minor blurriness, but it was not very obtrusive, and there was a slight yellow tinge on everything. The impact on my vision was minimal as I was still able to do work on a computer and drive to/from work. Now I am wondering if I needed the surgeries done at this time.
The video also mentioned that by the age of seventy-five, 50% of people have cataracts. Since everyone in my family had the surgery, I would have needed the same eventually. Luckily both eyes seem to be recovering well, and my nearsightedness has improved a lot.
Cataract Surgery Update
Both eyes are done! I had surgery on my left eye on October 24th, and surgery on my right eye on October 31st. I had a checkup the day after surgery on my right eye, and the ophthalmologist said everything looks good. I have another appointment in early December to do a final check. I believe my eyes will have adjusted by then and I can go to my optometrist to get new glasses.
As for my vision, both eyes see more clearly. Since they were able to put in “prescription” lenses, I can see a lot better too. My vision is pretty bad: my prescription was -5.5 and -8+ in my left and right eyes respectively. Now, I am about -1.0 in both eyes, and arms-length items (computer screens) are in clear focus. I also need some reading glasses for very up-close reading, but the strength needed is only +1.0 or maybe even less.
Overall, I am quite happy. I wished my insurance covered more of the elective costs. These costs improve the safety and effectiveness of the surgery but cost me $7,000 out-of-pocket for the additional fees.
Freestyle Libre 3 CGM
During my last appointment with the endocrinologist, she prescribed me the Freestyle Libre 3 continuous glucose monitor (CGM). I have been using the Freestyle Libre 2 for about a year and have just received a three-month supply of sensors. So right now, I have five of each sensor type at home.
There appears to be two major differences between the two products. First, the CGM sensor is much smaller for the Libre 3. You can see the difference in the packaging.
The white container on the left contained a Libre 3 sensor and the gray package held the Libre 2. Additionally, the Libre 3 does not require the user to scan the sensor, either with a dedicated reader or your phone. My success rate in reading the old sensor was only about fifty-fifty. Now I just open the iPhone app and data will be transferred automatically. The app looks and feels identical to the Libre 2 app, but you cannot adjust the parameters of the readings graph. People have complained online that it is too zoomed out, and users cannot see small but significant changes in blood sugar when eating food or shooting insulin.
I also got the endocrinologist to enter my insulin prescription into my inpen. In case you forgot, inpen is a Bluetooth connected insulin pen that uses refill cartridges. The manufacturer, Medtronic, calls it a smart insulin pen. However, all I can see is a pen that sends the last dosage to your phone; the intelligence is all in the app. Before shooting up, you use the app to calculate how much insulin you need. If you use the inpen, it automatically records the dose. For a dose from a manual pen, you can log shots in the app as well.
I think the app is good, and it does connect to some CGMs, just not the Libre 2/3 app. On the other hand, the pen seems to be more gimmicky than useful. It is not difficult to log manual insulin shots into the app myself. The inpen can deliver half-units of insulin, but due to the design, often I end up deliverying one half-unit less insulin since the rotating knob is loose and moves left/right slightly when depressed. I still have a lot of the regular Humalog pens left and mix the useage of the two pens.
More Depression
It is getting worse.
This week has been particularly challenging. In addition to my ever-changing eyesight, I felt very alone. I feel stupid saying that since it was a busy week socially: I went into the office three times instead of my usual two, had eye surgery, went to two doctor office visits, ate lunch on Saturday with some old church friends, played mahjong and ate dinner with family, and attended church this morning. That is much more human contact than my typical week.
The current sermon series is called Life Together, and today’s sermon title was Together with God. In week three, the topic will be about family since it is Thanksgiving weekend, and I know it is going to suck for me. Just being at church was depressing for me since 99% of the congregation were couples. I know young single people usually come to later services, but it was very noticeable. This is nothing new, but it hit me hard this morning.
Just now, I went to Costco to buy some random stuff. On the way home, I burst into tears for about five minutes. This was not a few tears rolling down, but full-on hyperventilating bawling. Several times I thought I was going to crash my car, but I did not really care. I mentioned all my issues in the last post, but I do not know what the trigger was today. I have not cried like that since I had to tell my family about my divorce.
I need to find a therapist. 😢
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I told Alexa that “I am going crazy” and it suggested I talk to a friend or call the national crisis line at 1-800-273-8255.
Depressed Again
I am not sure what is happening, but I feel more depressed lately. I have had these feelings before, especially when I am stuck in a bad spot. For example, during a bad dialysis session or during bypass surgery recovery. I just got home from work after picking up dinner at Panini Kabob Grill. They forgot to give me basmati rice. It is really not a big deal, but I felt so defeated. Then I could not find my rice container, so I ended up just standing in the kitchen holding the rice cooker pot in a daze. I finally snapped out of it and cooked some rice. It will not be the same though.
What is going on? I think I am realizing how lonely I am since my divorce. Part of this is from my pending retirement. I will likely quit my job in early 2024, but I do not have any plans, nor anyone to share them with. It has been so long since my divorce that I cannot imagine dating again.
I also met a new friend at work. She is only twenty-five and very socially active. It has been fun and slightly educational talking to her about her dating challenges, but it also made me realize how boring I was in the past, and how boring my life is now. There is a lot of regret, but also helplessness, as if I am watching a movie about the rest of my life. The problem is that I am even less motivated to do anything.
I also cannot see very well as I am recovering from cataract surgery. Even if I start trying to date and meet someone, what woman wants an old, broken down guy?
Cataract Surgery – Left Eye
During my past few appointments with both my ophthalmologist and optometrist, they both mentioned that my eyes were cloudy, and that I need to get cataract surgery. So yesterday I had surgery on my left eye. The procedure was only around ten minutes, and I just went back to the ophthalmologist for a follow up appointment. Everything seems fine now, but I will need new glasses once my vision stops changing. I initially thought that I would not need glasses for mid and far sights, but it appears that I have 20/40 vision in my left eye and will still need glasses to see far.
Several things I immediately noticed. The cloudy lens in my eyes made everything more yellow. I was surprised how bright and white everything was looking through just my left eye. Also, everything seems about 20% larger. The ophthalmologist said that the larger image is the actual size. Having nearsightedness made images smaller. I guess if you wore glasses since grade three, there is nothing to compare to. I do not have to wear the protective shield during the day but will need to wear it at night. I also need to wear old people’s UV glasses when I go out.
I am having the same surgery done next Tuesday on my right eye. I am not sure what I am going to do for glasses when the prescription in both eyes are changing.
Phlebotomist Fail
I went to get labs done last Friday at my usual place. Since they still require appointments in the morning, the wait was pretty short. Typically, all the phlebotomists at the lab site are women, but this time it was a guy names Luis.
Luis had problems with his first attempt. He missed the typical vein location at the left side of my arm. After digging around a bit, I told him to stop because it became very painful. It was obvious he missed since there was no bleeding when he pulled out the needle. Luis then tried the right side and managed to get a different vein. It still hurt, but at least blood was flowing. He needed to draw eight tubes so it took awhile.
After the blood draw, my arm looked normal. However, after about twelve hours, a small bruise started forming. This grew over the next few days until it looked like the photo above. It is not painful but super ugly to look at.
Long Attack Neuropathy
Usually when an attack comes, the painful part only lasts a second or two. Then the pain would fade, and things would be normal until the next attack seconds to minutes later. Tonight, the attack pain is lasting over five seconds, and between attacks, there is a dull throbbing pain at the attack site. During the long attack time, the pain is more excruciating because it does not fade but lasts the entire long duration. Altogether, the pain level is probably close to ten times worse than previous attacks. Of course, the attack starts right at bedtime so if I cannot fall asleep (very unlikely), it will be another all-nighter of pain and suffering.
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It is now about 8:45 am. I did manage to fall asleep for a few hours. However, each time I wake up, the pain comes back immediately. The intensity is worse this morning than it was last night.
Cataract Surgery Scheduled
I went to my ophthalmologist today for cataract surgery pre-op. The appointment was to finalize my choices, sign consent forms, and pay. They asked me when I wanted the surgery done and I said as soon as possible. Since they only do cataract surgeries on Tuesdays, the first one will be next Tuesday 10/24, followed by the second one on Tuesday 10/31. I had to pay $7,000 out-of-pocket for laser surgery plus astigmatism lenses. They also asked me to buy eyedrops and that was $100 total for two tiny bottles.
I know our medical system, especially insurance, needs a lot of improvement. However, if I went with the standard procedure and standard lenses, the surgeries would have been paid for by my insurance. In Canada, insurance also pays for cataract surgery, but my cousin has been waiting for nine months to be scheduled and his eyesight is getting worse. Tradeoffs of socialized medicine I guess.
Continuous Neuropathy Attacks
F#cking hell.
The neuropathy attacks have been continuous for a week. Luckily, I got a reprieve during the sleep disorder study so I could sleep and provide data. Otherwise, my feet would have been in constant pain. The latest attack started about 2:00 am. Initially, both feet were in pain, but that has been resolved to one major pain point on the fourth toe on my left foot. This is about the fifth or sixth attack in the past seven days and is about a 8/10 on the pain scale.
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Ugh. I tried using a wand massager to massage the top of the affected toe since I thought I felt something. However, I was wrong. I only managed to remove the layer of skin on my toe, and it still hurts like a bitch.
Double Neuropathy 20230918
It is now 3:00 am and another neuropathy attack just started in my left big toe. The problem is that the prior attack on my ankle is still happening. There is pain shooting though both sites on my left foot, so I am in constant pain.
Each time my neuropathy flares up, it feels like the worst attack ever. This time, with two pain points at the same point, I know it is the most painful attack ever. I have a sleep study tomorrow night at the hospital clinic. I hope this means I will have a pain-free night Tuesday so the clinic can get clear results.
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4:27 am. I have given up trying to sleep since the pain is unrelenting.
Life with chronic diseases 